My ‘Q’ (Part III of III)
3 MayMy ‘Q’ (Part II)
2 MayAnd it´s now the real fun starts, apparently!
The `W`, or My `Q` (Part I)
24 AprAlmost a month after hitting Patagonia I am finally ready (and have time, inclination and a decent, free internet connection to take full advantage of) to detail the thrill of having completed The Q.
What helped with the timing, was a dinner the other night with a few (of the many) new friends I have met in Brazil. Two Israelis, a Portuguese, a Dutch and a Belgian and I were were having dinner in Lençóis the other night (that sounds like the start of a really bad joke, I realise) and the two Israeli guys’ reaction when I mentioned the Q was pretty much ’’ F**k! You did the Q!? Amazing! You must be one of the crazy ones!¨ And words to that effect.
The Portuguese guy, yet to pop his Patagonian cherry, dismissed this part of the conversation as both irrelevant and unworthy, dare I suggest disbelieving that anything might be that challenging.
Again, my Israeli friends tried to explain. ’’No, no! Most people do the W. We did the W. Some people do the Circuit. Only crazy Mofos do the Q!’’ You get the point.
This was my Q…
I’ve explained my meeting of the ridiculously beautiful (inside and out) Pippa and the sweetest and the most annoyingly sunnily disposed (of his own admission!) Australian/Singaporean IN THE WORLD Dan, the Erratic Rock talk by Rustyn that convinced me to change my plans, and the whirlwind shopping trip around Puerto Natales to gear up for setting off the next day, having finally packed and fallen into bed at 3am.
Being picked up at 7.30 and alarms therefore set for 6ish, I was in one room, and Pippa and Dan in another. I´d had breakfast, showered, finished packing, sent a v quick email to advise my family I wouldn´t be in touch for 10 or 11 days but I was not dead (yet) and was putting together my finishing touches (ie the mental What Very Important Thing Have I Forgotten list) top my packing, and an Austrian girl we met at the talk (and had already decided we didn´t want to trek with her. I´ll add now that one of the things Dan, Pippa and I had in common was our ability to judge Potential Compatibility or Potential Annoyance at 100% paces) came in to the lounge. ’
’Shouldn´t your friends be awake?’’
Me: ’’Aren´t they?’’
Her: ’’No. They are still sleeping, but I thought we get picked up in 15 minutes, no?’’
Me (running into their room): ’’Dan! Pippa! Wake up!’’
Dan (all sarky): ’’Erm, it´s only 6.10….we have ages.’
Me (slightly panicking, with no experience of their getting ready speed at this stage): ’’No! It´s just gone 7.10! We leave at half past!’’
We had to laugh at the chaos as Dan realised his iPhone hadn´t auto-updated since changing timezones. NOW it fails. Doh…
Impressively, we were all ready and kitted out in good time and waiting outside the hostel at 7,29 as planned. At 7.45, we still were.
The panic was setting in, ever so slightly, with the words of Rustyn ringing in our ears (’’You will always be better off buying your bus ticket to the park from whichever hostel you are staying at. I´ve been doing this for nine years, and the only time I´ve ever heard of anything going wrong is when people try and save themselves a few pesos by buying their ticket from somewhere in town. Which may or may know which hostel you are staying in, and may or may not be up and open for business at 7am on the day you are due to leave….’’ Damn that pesky Rustyn and his insight!), we were starting to worry that maybe we weren´t going to be picked up. Me, Glass Half-Full Girl these days, was thinking I could go back to bed for a few hours.
Just as we were starting to give up hope, and Shakana our lovely host looking at us (we had done precisely the aforementioned what NOT to do) with that I Told You So look on his face, shrugged, unsympathetically, the bus arrived. Hurdle One: Overcome!
Slept much of the 2.5 hour journey to the Park, nervous, excited, still tired and full of wonder as to what lay ahead, and we arrived to pay our entrance fee. The three Torres, or Towers, lay right ahead and gave a taste of what natural beauty we were in for.
Most people (those doing the W) get dropped off at the first stage, to the southeast, some then (those getting the famed catamaran across the first lake to the base of the circuit) get dropped off at Paine Grande, but we were carrying on to the park Administration.
There were five people on the bus at this stage, and we were three of them. The others we recognised from our Erratic Rock talk. They were a young, skinny, Keanu Reeves lookalike from the US and a Kiwi/Australian guy called Ajay. That´s not me not knowing the difference. That´s him claiming both nationalities. I´d guessed a few years older than me, and already established as being one of those people who think he has a wealth of experience and advice and obviously everyone else would like to hear it. Unsolicited, of course.
At Administration, we´d decided that we wanted to trek alone, rather than set the precedent on Day One of being a quintet, so Dan and I messed about taking spurious important photos of well, nothing much.
Trek underway, the Rustyn-forewarned first 10 minute break (¨The most important one of the day. This is where you make all your adjustments that will ensure a better day trekking thereafter¨) out of the way, and Dan (thank you for this one, I´ve taken it with me) reminding us to remember how lucky we are for having the means and the will to be doing what we are doing, and to truly appreciate it. A beautiful half day trekking!
When we arrived at camp, Pippa and I were shocked that we hit camp as quickly as we did, both geared up mentally and physically for a much longer day. This was Campo Las Carretas. As we ´d arrived so early, and we´d pitched our tents in surprisingly swift time, and there was not really much else to do once the ubiquitous photos were taken, Pippa and I were hungry. Dan, hereafter the (meant in the best humour) Food Nazi, which was a definite Good Thing.
Let me explain, for those who have not hiked for several days before. Between three of us, we carried our clothes (day and night, and extra warm or waterproof things, despite Rusty´s best advice), our sleeping bags, our ground mats, our trekking poles, our tents (Pippa and I were sharing, so split the load), anything to wash with, plus enough food for two meals a day, for 11 days, plus snacks, gas canisters, cooking utensils and a plate, cup and water bottle each, first aid kits, spare (night time) shoes… packs on Day One are heavy! Dan´s point, was that as we were so carefully rationed, anything we ate beyond our meal plan would therefore render us short later on the hike. We would eat too early out of boredom, then be hungry later and have not enough to last all the days.
Don´t get me wrong, this is not uncharted trekking, There are one or two (limited and overpriced) shops, and one or two of the refugios have showers, and there may be some surprises along the way (more on this later!) but ultimately, you take what you need. Nothing more.
The beauty of this part of the world is that you don´t have to carry water. You can drink pure, clear, Patagonian glacial water directly from the streams and falls. As much as you like, and as often as you like. You can even (sorry, you are soon going to be SO bored of Rustyisms if you´re not already) ¨Get down on all fours and drink it like a dog if you want to
¨ Day Two, I realised that Pippa and I as tent buddies was going to work just fine. I realised that when you think you may need a wee, get up and go for a bloody wee. It is NOT going to go away. You can wait it out all you like, waiting for the rain or the wind to stop, but the urge will only get worse. I also realised that (sorry John!), the sleeping bag I´d borrowed from my brother as it was much smaller than mine, was also much thinner and colder. I was FREEZING and as a result hardly slept. Error number one.
Not a morning person at the best of times, and on a crappy night´s sleep, with sore shoulders and having only done a very short day of two or three hours, I was starting to wonder if I was doing the right thing. This feeling should have passed. But when I walked around the corner to the shelter and saw all the binliners containing all of our stuff, chewed to bits and strewn all over the shelter, including all the rubber handles off my trekking poles, the plastic tips gnawed to bits, every single ziplocked bag of clothing nibbled at and all my binliners chomped to bits, I lost my sense of humour fast and then really doubted whether I had done the right thing.
Ajay bore the brunt first, bless him. Telling myself not to freak out as it was my own fault, Pippa rounded the corner. ¨What´s wrong?¨my face obviously saying it all.
“Erm, I think we had some visitors in the night.“
So, we decided our rat friends had had a party, tried on all my clothes, danced around my poles, decided they either weren´t hungry or couldn´t be arsed to touch the actual food that was hanging literally two feet above the benches, and then we realised that they had gone through Pippa`s carefully measured trail mix, picking out all the good stuff and leaving all the crap we didn´t really like. They`d gone through our carrot sticks (but we decided to simply wash them off – a decision we may come to regret a few days from here) and basically made us feel pillaged, robbed and thoroughly p1ssed off! Anyone that knows me well knows that anything rodent-like is pretty much my worst nightmare. Give me a spider or a snake any day of the week.
Day Two underway, morale was low, the hiking was still Easy-to-Moderate, and annoyingly, Pippa and I desperately trying to convince Dan his book was just kidding and this was actually Hard had no effect.
We arrived at Campo Paine Grande, the campsite and refugio that Rusty had termed Disneyland. We were expecting pretty much the golden arches or a Starbucks when we arrived, but I have to admit, my shoulders were in such agony by this point, I was nearly in tears, I couldn`t believe it was only Day Two and the Coke and Tuna sandwich shared with Dan was pretty much the best I`d ever tasted, so it beat any arches or expected mod cons hands down.
Oh, a point on this. Last night at Camp, the first near-row ensued. Our first real insight into the ways of Ajay. As Dan was making a tea, we were deciding on our treat rations (Do we have our two Oreos, or our third of a Snickers bar today?) and Ajay ambles over, “Oh, you kids and your treats….“ (at this point he has no idea how old we are).
Dan took the bait before I did.
“What? Because we like to sit and chill with a tea and a biscuit after a day´s hiking? What´s wrong with that?“
Ajay: “Well, when I trek, I just go for the basics that I need (He lived on Two Minute noodles – aka Zero nutritional value) and have my big treat at the end when I get home. Plus I have to carry all my own stuff….“ (suggesting we had invisible Sherpas that we were exploiting to carry said Oreos)
This went on, but when we arrived at Paine Grande, and Dan has already said that if he was having so much as a machine-made cup of coffee, he was going to get both barrels. A can of Coke and two chocolate bars before him, Dan and I gave him plenty of grief, the hypocrite.
This being the first real break we´d taken, it was harder to get going, but we reached Campamento Italiano in decent time (we were pretty much trekking to expected time so far) and went and sat down by a beautiful waterfall, having a coffee, listening to what we first thought was thunder, which turned out to be the repeated calving of the glacier behind us. It was a pretty special moment and I had one of those ´Bloody hell, I´m actually in Patagonia!´moments.
At camp. we sat around, impressed with the clearly very experienced camping skills of those around us (like building some pulley-type contraption to keep their food high up over a tree branch, or having an extra tarp to sit on before they went to bed), and went to bed. Just beforehand, I decided to take a trip to the loo. These were the (relatively) posh loos. Dry ones, where you were supposed to use sawdust to kill the smell, and were built up on stilts. But there was no sawdust, and as I tried to leave, the key (which was seemingly made of semi-molten metal) was turning in the lock, but the thread was staying still. As I realised I was probably turning it too much, and should stop, it snapped off, and I was locked in the loo, which was locked from the inside. Joy. Luckily for me, my ridiculous cartoonesque calls of “HELP! HELP! Can anyone hear me?!“ were answered by a guy walking past the toilet area before the whole campsite went to sleep, probably wearing earplugs.
Night Two was a slightly better sleep than Night One, but not much. I´d realised trying to hold back some clothing for when it got really cold was pointless, and that I should just wear everything now.
We were able to leave the camp set up, and heading uphill to Valle Frances, one of the supposed highlights of the whole trek. It was incredibly beautiful, a lovely walk up, with varied terrain through a stream, much larger and bigger boulders, some beautiful (if sadly) burnt out forests, and the start of the autumn colours turning against the hillsides. We reached the top, and it was colder, windier, and rainier than we`d had so far but a beautiful setting to have some rather awkward photos taken by the group of very unwilling Israeli guys at summit.
We legged it down, feeling a sense of achievement and really starting to enjoy the hike, then realising we were not wearing our packs, which might have been something of a contributor.
Day Three to continue, when we reached the halfway point, according to our markers, Dan and I had a little celebratory outburst, as we thought we had a lot further to go. A bit too enthusiastically, to the amusement of Pippa, who had obviously seen the German (?) couple who were taking photos, quietly enjoying the lake and the scenery at this point. Woops. Lago Pehoe (I think, it might have been Nordenskjöld, and yes, I did have to Google that one) is stunning. It is ALL stunning but every now and then a certain site would make you stop and think for a little longer, and forget the pain in your legs, feet, shoulders, anywhere else…
We all got very excited as we passed a few ´real live´ gauchos along the way, and as we neared, imagine my surprise when I bumped, quite literally, as they were coming the opposite way, into my former Familia Nueva (or half of them, anyway), and saw Lukas and Jaz from El Chalten!
“ Where´s abuela?“ I asked.
Lukas, straight to the point: “Oh, she´s doing some f**king cripple tour, with the old people.“ (She´s 30)
Knowing this meant she would be at the campsite, I warned Pippa and Dan, as she´d been the butt of many a joke up to now. Sorry if you´re reading this. It´s nothing I wouldn´t say to your face… ;o)
We arrived, and Ajay, true to his (new) form, was signing himself up for a meal at the refugio, Cuernos, a campsite where you pitched tents on boards, and they had showers and a shelter in which you could cook, even if you were just camping. They also had the most beautiful view of the Cuernos Del Paine, which we referred to as the ´chocolate´ mountains, with their peaks in two-toned shades of grey-brown.
We stayed the night here, met an Australian couple, and ate some of Dan´s amazing pasta and pesto. I should have stated already that Dan is a self-proclaimed foodie, loves cooking, and (I know this is not really claiming much, again, to anyone who knows me) made meals using camping equipment and supplies that outshone anything I would ever cook at home. Thank you again Dan, for your skills.
Sadly, in the time it took us to get back to our tents after this dinner, the edge was taken off it when Dan realised it was his turn for some furry visitors. Whilst he´d got away unscathed the first night, our Ratty McRat friends (we are making this assumption, BTW, having not actually seen anything take place) had bitten a hole in his tent, and got through to our bag of powdered milk. The beasts. It threw Dan´s (thus far unwavering) confidence and high spirits for a while as he was then nervous they´d return. They didn´t, and luckily we didn´t see anything more of them after that.
But in the morning, as I was brushing my teeth and stretching out for the day (very good multi-tasker, me), I spotted something that was to make up for all things mice and have me crowned Queen Finder Keeper for the trip. I spotted something in the grass, and kicked it with my foot to see it was a full chorizo sausage, about six inches of it <insert lewd joke here>, and still fully wrapped in its cellophane. I casually looked around to see if anyone spotted me spotting it, and the guy to my right didn´t seem to. I kept my foot near it, thinking this was a find beyond finds and I had dibs, and Dan approached and as I showed him, he was equally excited (wow, how you appreciate the little things when you are out in nature!) and we were like a pair of kids, Dan immediately working it into his already-impressive meal plan. We ran up to Pippa, assuming it would have the desired effect of brightening her day (morale was still a bit low after the rat incident and Pippa´s ever-increasing blister collection).
“Close your eyes. We have a surprise you´re going to LOVE.“
“Urgh! That smells like sh1t!! Get it away from me!!“
Ah, not quite the reaction we had in mind… Anyway, we chopped the open end off and added it to our mix.
Onto Day Four… This, we reminded each other, was the day we were supposed to be starting to feel like we ruled the world and everything in it. We were not there yet. Not in any way.
We headed off towards Los Torres. Here there was a hotel, a hostel, and a campsite in a similar part of the path. We got to the hotel, went to the best bathrooms ever and then faffed around, wondering if we should buy something to eat here or at the next place. We were convinced (Bryan!) that if we went to the next place, there was probably more choice. We walked up to the hostel and there was less choice. Doh! We faffed there a bit more and Pippa had chance to restrap her feet with more plasters than I´ve ever counted on one pair (which by now were resembling a work of art) and carried on, heading upwards towards Chileno. The views were stunning, the walks were long and open, with great views for miles. It was greener than we´d been used to, and far more vast, giving you a real sense of the space we were enjoying.
We kept passing this guy with a beard (slingshotting, was the term I think he used) we´d seen at Cuernos. We´s also seen a group of about six girls a few times, who Pippa and I had independently done an amateur psychoanalysis of their group dynamics and together decided that a) six is too big a group to trek in b) two girls were clearly keener and would be better off going ahead, c) two girls were clearly not as interested and would have been far happier splintering off by themselves at a slower pace and that if they continued the way they were, they would all be miserable for the duration. This was based on minimal observation but I like to think we were right.
We passed a beautiful riverbed at Refugio Chileno, the spot that Rusty (there he is again!) warned us we`d be tempted to stay at. He was right. We forced ourselves onwards to Campamento Los Torres, where we were greeted by Bryan, or That Bearded American Guy, as he was up until now. We set up camp, went and had dinner up a bit from the campsite, with a much clearer view of the mountains, some air, and away from the camp. We also found out that Bryan was from Long Island and had performed helicopter search and rescue for the US Navy, and had a girlfriend called Brady, who put up a tough defense against his coming away for three months. He pretty much straight away became the fourth to our party of three.
Up at 4.30 or so, ready to hit the summit of the Torres for sunrise, we were braced for “a 45 minute hike at 45 degrees. There was no other way of doing this, and it will be in the dark, over boulders“ (- Guess who?).
We set off, armed with the sound advice that rather than getting all warmed up, running up the hill, getting there too hot, then taking off all our gear, then seeing the sunrise, taking the photos of the Torres in the red light and having to very quickly put all our gear back on again and run back down the hill because its too cold… we should do it the other way, or the Rusty Way!
“Set off cold. You will be hiking for 45 minutes at 45 degrees uphill. You will get hot, not through what you are wearing, but because you are trekking. Take your sleeping bag, your mat, your warm clothes with you. Take your breakfast bars and even your coffee and stove. Get up the top, and when you get there, get settled in, and watch the magical red glow hit the towers as the sun comes over the top, reflecting in the water at the base of the three peaks and showing you one of the most incredible sites you could imagine.
That`s how it should have been. I totally forgot to bring the stove, so our coffee moment was not quite as magical as it could have been. ie it didn`t happen. Sorry again for that one! I hoped my special secret peanut butter chocolate bar eased the pain. Dan also brought some special secret chocolate from Germany, which we also hoped ease the horror of getting up at such an ungodly hour!
My scramble up was horrendous. Not enough sleep and walking at pace (fearful of missing it, the moment having such a short lifespan) uphill, on an empty stomach was causing my to feel really nauseous. Travelling and trekking with two doctors, this should have been a dream team. I`ve realised that I`m not the best at taking medication when I have the option of just toughing it out. I guess I think it might always get worse and then I`d have nothing left. Sadly, this meant that Dan & Pippa´s expertly stocked First Aid kits were wasted on my stubborn ways.
On the way back down, round two in our game of Finders Keepers was won, jointly, by Bryan and me.
“What´s that?“ he points, looking at a plastic bag to the side of the path.
“God, I hate when people do that. Should we take it with us?“ annoyed at the litter.
Pippa: “Of course we should take it with us, it looks delicious!“ obviously quicker to spot the contents than I was.
Four brownies and some homemade cake later, we were once again up in the treat stakes!
And that, my friends, was stage 1, or `The W`.
The back side to follow…
Vices, mice(s), and social devices: Part III
11 AprFollowing the ER talk, Pippa, Dan and I made our new lists (taking into account all our new information) ran around town doing full cost/value/quality recces, before getting sorted with all our gear (yes, I still love buying kit as much as, if not more than, I did at home), made our food shopping list, withdrew money etc.
Had a lovely surprise by bumping, randomly, into Johannes, a German guy I’d met briefly in BA (the first time) who was motorcycling his way around the continent.
Had an amazing dinner at Afrigonia, and then back to the hostel to start packing. At 3am we were finally ready for bed!
I’ve been toying with whether or not to talk through the Q in a day-by-day fashion.
But I think for now, what I will say is that if you fancy a holiday that will challenge you in ways you have never imagined; that will make you feel scared, mighty, insecure, invincible, bold, brave, hungry, thirsty, filthy, desperate, awesome, strong and pathetic; if you want to taste fear, sadness, elation, fatigue and relief; to suffer blisters, cold, sweat, discomfort; to experience a weird pleasure/pain of muscles and of mind; to lose all dignity through peeing on yourself, in the wind, sh1tting in the bushes, nearly crying with shoulder cramps, or general misery, all alongside people you’ve known for less than a week; but at every point have your breath literally taken away with the sights you will witness, the natural colours you will enjoy, the sounds of the genuinely great outdoors and not want to change any of it for a second… then get yourself down to Parque Nacional Torres Del Paine.
And just watch out for the mice.





